Oct 27, 2025
3 min read
For some reason, millennials have been given the ability to procreate. And I, clinging onto the status of millennial by my geriatric fingernails, count myself among them. Even worse, younger people (who are now well into their thirties) have also been given the ability to procreate.
The most distracted (see here and here) generation is also now parenting. And the following generation(s) are early stage parenting, or about to be. And when you were raised by a millennial, the stats aren't going to be particularly wholesome.
I'm forty. Somehow I made it this far without sending my heart into orbit with the amount of coffee and wine I consume. I spend more time at the dentist and on teeth whitener resolving minor discolouration than I do tending to my actual vital organs. But it's fine. Maybe if I die by 50 my kids will have some small fortune to inherit and get a start in life. Which is probably better than waiting for us to die of old age before being able to get on the property ladder.
My kids are 5 and 3. My fun fact at work is that our 5 year old was born in summer at 12 minutes past noon. While the 3 year old was born a 12 minutes past midnight in winter. Stating this fact gleans no reaction from other parents. Because they care about my kids about as much as I do about theirs.
It's mid-term this week. Halloween is on Friday. In Ireland that's a big deal, given the pagan roots of the festival. And my 5 year old is off school. Given my busy job that helps keep us at break-even after every expense related to said children, he's going to his daycare full-time for the week. It's a Halloween camp, which is great craic altogether.
But when collecting kids, it's noticeable who's on the geriatric millennial (or worse) scale. We're less dependent on our phones. Wealth has transferred to us or we got good jobs, as told by the incredibly fancy cars or bikes folks use to transport their kids. We're dressed well and generally healthy looking. And we're not overly stressed by having kids.
On the younger millennial side of things, it's a bit different. Sometimes wealth is there, for sure. It's expensive to send your kid to a post-school daycare. And the reason you're doing it is that you're too busy with work to take them after ~3pm when school ends. And when you get younger, on those rare occasions that an elder statesperson of the generation below us arrives, it's ballistic.
I write this because today we got a notice on what to expect for the aforementioned Halloween camp. We can drop the kids at 7.45am each morning, and collect at 6pm (the usual time). Each kid needs a raincoat, a change of clothes and a lunch for their 11am break; dinner is served by the daycare. But importantly, and sadly, parents are also being notified to ensure kids do not show up with iPads, phones or laptops. That's the specific language issued.
While it's mean to focus on the younger end of my generation (and below) as distracted parents. I can tell that this is who this is aimed at. I see it all the time. Kids in shops with phones in their hands as they're wheeled around in a buggy. Even my own friends have this habit of wheeling 5 year olds around in a buggy, while they consume some shite on YT. Sure, my two can be incredibly irritating when they're excited in a shop. But I'd rather they have a bit of craic and irritate me for 15mins than the alternative; that they expect to drone around life with their hands in a phone.
I'm even excited by my 5 year old playing games. Sharing that is great. He's becoming weirdly proficient at Gran Turismo, and loves the Peppa Pig game. Solving puzzles in Tetris, getting a car into a pit stop (that's all he cares about) and exploring the world with Peppa is great. And he's pretty good at self-regulating the time. Mostly because he definitely has ADHD and gets bored. But I'll take that as a positive side-effect any day of the week.
I am by no means a great parent. I get frustrated. I am regularly tired. The kids can be annoying, even when they're just being playful. I am grateful for the care they're provided by granny, daycare and school. But watching younger parents weaponise phones or tablets to the point that a Halloween camp has to explicitly ban them is horrifying. Every generation takes umbrage with the previous one, but this feels like we're sleepwalking into oblivion.
That said, if my kids can slightly self-regulate and keep being part of the real world, then that's all they might need to get a leg up when they're older. Because someone else will be driven demented by having to spend one hour without an internet-connected device.